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A few months ago, I sat at my local Peet’s brainstorming ideas for my first blog post here on BUMP Life.  Like I had done many times since I started working on this new venture, I had packed up my infant daughter and taken her with me to the coffee shop so I could work while she slept in her stroller.

As I watched her napping next to me that day, I realized, as a second time mom, I have definitely been more relaxed when it’s come to getting out and about with a baby.  With my first, we didn’t leave the house for two weeks and only then to go to the doctor.  With number 2, we had a family outing to the park when she was 3 days old.

I decided my first blog entry would be about what advice second-time-mom Megan would give first-time-mom Megan.  Things like, ‘Don’t pick the baby up at the first peep you hear in the middle of the night, he just might fall back asleep on his own.’  Or  ‘The more relaxed you are about your milk supply, the easier breast-feeding will be.’  All things I realized the second time, which would have been nice to know the first time around.

Then, a few weeks later, I had a breakdown.

I was about three months into parenting two kids and I felt completely overwhelmed, I felt like I was failing. Was my preschooler, B, getting enough one on one time with me now that his little sister was here?  Was I doing enough tummy time with baby R?  Was I adequately nurturing the relationship with my husband?  Should I have gone to law school? Had I brushed my teeth in the last 3 days?

While having a text message vent session with a good friend and fellow recent mom of two, she said “Why aren’t we better at this round two?”

Exactly.

After all, I had already HAD a baby, and this baby is so much mellower than my first.  Shouldn’t I have this all figured out? Shouldn’t she just fit seamlessly into our family with nothing more than a few extra dirty diapers in the diaper pail?

I re-thought my idea of giving advice to my first-time mom self.  Maybe my first time mom self wasn’t that far off after all. She knew that this parenting thing was tough.  Maybe the advice giving should go the other way.

So, here is some advice the Megan from 3 years ago would give to the Megan of today.  Can you relate?

  1. Babies cry and it sucks to hear– I don’t care how used to crying you are or how successful you know crying-it-out will ultimately be.  Hearing your child cry is heartbreaking.
  2. Sometimes the entire days plans will derail– on those days its ok to just nurse your child to sleep and then sit in the rocking chair with a sleeping baby on your lap while you watch reruns of RuPaul’s Drag Race for an hour and a half.  She’ll learn to sleep in her crib eventually.
  3. Cut yourself some slack– The toys aren’t always going to get cleaned up before your husband gets home.  Your preschooler might eat microwave mac-n-cheese for dinner three nights in a row and the baby might only get a bath once a week.  You’ll all survive.
  4. Babies are hard work– it doesn’t matter if it is your first or your fifth, babies are hard work and are not predictable.  It doesn’t mean you are a bad mother, or that you can’t handle it.
  5. You will cry– Hormones will make you cry, sleep deprivation will make you cry, your children will make you cry, and occasionally an episode of Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends will make you cry…its ok.
  6. It will get easier- You’ll get into a rhythm, the baby will sleep more, the preschooler will get potty trained, you’ll have a chance to exercise again, you’ll have more date nights.  For now, you are in the trenches…just survive

Then, once I had conceded to myself that I didn’t know what the heck I was doing, R rolled over, proving she was getting enough tummy time, B and I went on an ice cream date just the two of us, my husband and I got out to see a movie, and I launched a blog.

I guess we are getting better at this after all.

Thanks for tuning in for my first post.  If you liked what you read and know others who might like it as well, please help me grow my presence by emailing your friends this link.   And watch for the Ultimate New Baby List to be coming out later this week.  Thanks for your support.  –Megan

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Bump Life is a place to support moms and families across all aspects of our lives. A place for tips, expert advice, parenting resources and entertainment. A great place to come for information, support or just a break from our crazy lives. From fitness to finance, from diaper bags to diaper duty, for everything bump, babies and beyond, you'll find it all here at BUMP Life!